Wreaking Havoc on the Family
by D.E. Lewis
Summary: A twin, a band, and public schooling. Exactly what you wanted from a story.
1. Default Chapter

Family Secrets  
  
"Rotten, stinking, piece of..." Artemis went on. He tapped the computer monitor a few times. The genealogy software was not working. It had, yet again, frozen up the computer. Actually, why don't we start from the beginning (since I'll bet this whole story will make a lot more sense).  
  
Artemis had been curious for quite a while. He wanted to know about the rest of his family, since he had no knowledge of any aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. So he had begun research. He quickly learned that his mother had a sister who lived in the U.S. with three children, and what appeared to be one adoptee. His father was an only child. All of his grandparents had been. His mother appeared to be the only one with any siblings at all in his family.  
  
Artemis finally unfroze the program, and promptly uninstalled it. He logged onto the internet. Then, out of the blue, he typed in his own birth date into the genealogy website. He found his hospital records, and then, looked at the children born that day. He found himself, and, oddly, a girl. She was about five minutes older, and born the same day, in the same hospital.  
  
"Curious. I wonder who that is." He clicked on her name. Her name was Angeline Jessica Fowl, and it stated that she was one of a set of fraternal twins. He clicked on the information regarding her twin. It was himself. He sat in a shock for quite a while, until a knock awakened him from his stupor.  
  
"Come in."  
  
"Master Artemis, it's supper time."  
  
"I'll be there in a minute, Butler."  
  
~~  
  
At dinner, Artemis was quiet.  
  
"Arty, dear, is something on your mind? You're rather quiet, tonight."  
  
"Hmm? Oh, well, yes, actually. Did I have a twin when I was born? I was looking up information for the family tree, and I found something." He broke off. His parents were staring at each other, worriedly.  
  
"Artemis," His father sighed, "We've been debating for quite a while on when to tell you."  
  
~~  
  
A.J.  
  
"Why did you wait so long?" Artemis asked his mother on the airplane to the U.S.  
  
"Truthfully, we didn't know how you would take it." She replied. Artemis gazed out the window. They would be flying to Atlanta, and from there, connect to Los Angeles. Artemis began trying to picture his sister. He imagined her looking like a female version of him. She's probably as smart, too. She would most likely be wearing a knee length skirt, and a short-sleeved blouse, he told himself. Probably as willful and strong as Captain Short. He thought about that again. It had been three years since he last saw her, and he wondered about how she was doing. Odd thought, considering how they were supposed to despise each other.  
  
~~  
  
Unbeknownst to Artemis, Captain Holly Short's thoughts were drifting, too. She was in front of her mirror at home, thinking about Juliet. Odd how her thoughts went that way.  
  
"I wonder how Artemis is." She murmured to herself. The thought caught her off guard. How old would he be turning, anyway? 15 next month, was it? It was very strange how thoughts went to places one had no control over.  
  
~~  
  
Artemis was suddenly woken by a nudge from Juliet, who was sitting behind him. He had fallen asleep.  
  
"Hey, wake up. We land soon." Artemis stretched and yawned. Airplane seats were uncomfortable. He gathered his things, and the plane began its decent. Somehow, he hated this part of flying. They had already connected, and were just now touching down in California. As they exited the plane, his mother ran up ahead.  
  
"Eliza! How wonderful to see you again!" She exclaimed, and embraced her sister.  
  
"It's the same here, sister!" She cried. "Oh! This must be Artemis!" She said, approaching Artemis. He sighed, guessing this would be some sort of adult who underestimated him.  
  
"How do you do, ma'am." He said, extending his hand. Aunt Eliza shook it, saying.  
  
"Very well thank you. I take it you must be tired. Your cousins are at home. We'll meet them there."  
  
~~  
  
A short drive later, Artemis found himself in a small house in the heart of Los Angeles. His cousins and sister, although he bet she didn't know that, were on the front lawn. Three boys and his sister, Angeline. Upon leaving the car, the oldest of the boys jumped up.  
  
"Hey! Mom's home with Aunt Angeline and Uncle Artemis!" He shouted.  
  
"Matt, shut up!" Angeline Jr. shouted back. She was quite different than Artemis expected. She was a good foot taller than he and her dark hair was sun-bleached from the California sun. She was very tan and muscular. She was wearing cut-offs and a green halter-top. Artemis was surprised. She was far different than what he thought she would be on the plane. She walked up to him. "Hi, you must be Artemis the Second. I'm AJ." She extended her hand. Raising himself to his full height, although he was still shorter, he shook her hand.  
  
"Please, call me Artemis."  
  
"Sure thing. Do you wanna change and meet my friends or something? I take it you won't have much in common with that lot." She said, jerking her thumb over her shoulder toward the boys, rough-housing in the grass.  
  
"I would think not." He replied.  
  
"Okay then. I'll show you where you'll sleep. You'll be sharing a room with Matt. He's actually the best of the three." She said, leading him down a staircase to a furnished basement. A voice shot out from behind them.  
  
"Why do you say that?"  
  
"Because he's the only one of the three of you who's IQ is somewhat higher than his shoe size, Allan!" She shouted back. Artemis chuckled a little. "They can be pretty dumb, but you get used to them. I mean, it could be worse."  
  
"How?"  
  
"They could all be jocks."  
  
~~  
  
A short while and a change of clothes later, Artemis found himself crossing the lawns to meet AJ's best friend, a boy named Ed. AJ knocked on the door. A boy with blond hair answered.  
  
"So this is the cousin you called practice off to meet?" He asked.  
  
"The one and only. Ed, this is Artemis. Artemis, Ed."  
  
"Charmed." Artemis said, holding out his hand.  
  
"Didn't AJ tell you? I don't believe in hand shakes." He said, pulling Artemis into a bear hug.  
  
~~  
  
Ed had turned out to be quite enjoyable, making jokes at every turn. Artemis was doubled over with laughter in minutes. After leaving, the two found it was getting dark out. Artemis decided this was the time.  
  
"AJ, there's something I really need to tell you."  
  
"Yeah? Go for it. Just don't tell me you're in love with Ed or something cos then I'll have to hit you." Artemis laughed again.  
  
"Actually, it's something a little weird. I found out about you a short while ago doing some genealogy. We're twins." AJ stopped dead.  
  
"You're kidding me, right? Right? Tell me you've spent too much time around Ed already. He does this. Really he does."  
  
"I'm dead serious."  
  
"Oh my GOSH!" She shouted. 


	2. Surfing Lesson

Very important Author's note: As the school year comes to a close, I will not be able to update as much as possible, as I rely on the school computers for my typing needs. I will try while at my dad's house, where I don't have to worry about downloads because we have our own computers, but it isn't a sure thing. Ciao for the summer, and have a fabulous one! -D.E. Lewis  
  
Land of Surf and Sun  
  
So far the few days spent with AJ had been fabulous. Artemis had learned that she was the lead guitarist and singer in a band known as Overdrive Syndrome. Ed was the drummer, and AJ's best friend Tone was the Bass guitarist and backup vocals. Ed's older brother Zack was Juliett's age, and the manager. He also sang and played keyboards when needed. Tone was his height with light brown hair, streaked with natural blond highlights. She had bright blue eyes, flecked with green, and skin that was as tan as AJ's. Then last night, the night before the twins' birthday, the group said they had a special gift for Artemis, and he wasn't going to find out until they got there- whatever that meant.  
  
"Let's go! The beach won't be empty forever, you know. It'll be filled with tourists before you can say nee if we don't hurry!" AJ shouted. As Artemis stepped out of the room, carrying his swim trunks in one arm, someone blindfolded him.  
  
"You come now!" grunted a voice that was quite obviously Ed's. Tone was giggling. He was steered out of the house, hearing muted laughter the whole way. The drive was silent, with the occasional "Hee hee hee." And then a reproving "Shhh!!!" The car eventually stopped, and he was steered out onto the sand. The blindfold was removed, and AJ looked at him. She was holding a surfboard, and one that Artemis had seen as her brother's was on the ground.  
  
"Surprise! You can't come back to LA and not know how to surf. So, time to learn!" Artemis was stunned. He had never expected to learn. The lesson actually turned out to be rather fun. AJ, Ed, and Tone turned out to be exceptional teachers, and Artemis learned fast. He was surfing decently by the end of the day. He found himself to be as tan as Ed by the time they went home, and aching.  
  
~~  
  
Two days later, his mother and aunt came to him with a proposal.  
  
"Arty, your aunt and I have been talking. We think it would be good for you to spend the school year here in California." Artemis grinned, and hugged his mother. This would be a great school year.  
  
~~ To Be Continued- Sorry it's short! There will be more later. 


	3. Attack of the highschool gym teacher

Author's note: I'm back! Now, let us welcome in the new school year (yes, I know it's October) with this latest installment.  
  
"Sophomore Year"  
  
Artemis stood staring up at the large building. A very large amount of teenagers his age were entering the school. St. Bartleby's had never held this many students. Artemis was completely amazed at the size of the place.  
  
"Earth to Artemis. This is A.J. calling. Artemis, hurry up. You can stare at the school later. We're gonna be late!" Artemis snapped back to attention. He rushed to catch up with his sister and friends. A.J. stuffed a sheet of paper into his hand.  
  
"Here. It's your schedule. You and Ed have the same first class, so go with him. We won't see each other until lunch. See ya!" She ran off in one direction. He followed Ed another.  
  
"So, where are we going?" He asked Ed.  
  
"Video production lab. It's way fun." Artemis nodded. As they entered the class, he noted the room was unusually empty for the size of the school. Then the teacher came in. He was wearing a bright Hawaiian shirt, of all things.  
  
"Hello, I'm Mr. J. I know some of you are used to calling me Johnny, but the school board is getting upset with that, so that's the name change deal. I know most of you-Ed in particular-but I see some new faces this year also. I know you'll be playing the name game a lot today, but I need to learn names, and so do you." After the first half hour of name learning, Mr. J introduced the lab and the curriculum. All too soon, the class was over.  
  
"Bummer that it's a short class, huh." Ed said as they walked out of the room. "What's your next class?" Artemis checked his sheet.  
  
"Math with-Heister."  
  
"Oh, you'll like him. He's so cool. But he talks fast, so listen carefully. His room is down the hall that way," he pointed in one direction "about four doors away. You're lucky. I don't think any of us got him this year. I have math too, but with Marson."  
  
"Who's that?" Artemis had Marson for physics.  
  
"The scariest person to walk the planet. That's who. You'll hate her." Artemis swallowed hard. Physics was at the end of the day. His last class.  
  
"Well, see you later." Artemis said, bleakly.  
  
"Yeah, see ya."  
  
~~  
  
Ed had been right. Heister was a great teacher. The way he described himself was interesting. Everything about the class had been interesting (and that included Mark, a goth kid who referred to himself in the third person) (A/N I know a kid like this). He had P.E. and English before lunch.  
  
~~  
  
"Now listen up, you pansies. I don't want to have any whiners in my class. So if you're planning on whining and whimpering the whole semester, well you can just cry to Mommy all you want, because I don't give a hoot." This was how P.E. was beginning. Artemis glanced around at the other students. All were shaking. Mr. Arkans was an ex-marine who could strike fear into the heart of the toughest of bullies, A.J. had said. Rumor had it that he had been dismissed from the marines for "disorderly conduct" with a double meaning behind that as the teacher had a tendency to soften to the female students. Artemis guessed that Butler would never be afraid of a man like this. Not his style. Artemis held back a chuckle. Mr. Arkans whirled to face him.  
  
"Something funny Mr.-"  
  
"Fowl. Artemis Fowl, sir." Artemis said, unruffled.  
  
"Well, Mr. Fowl, if you find something I said funny, you can go run two laps right now." Artemis didn't move. "That was an order, Fowl. Not a choice. Why ain't you running?"  
  
"I didn't find anything you said funny sir."  
  
"Seems we have a smart-aleck here. Start running. Now." Artemis did as he was told. He was beginning to dread the rest of third period this semester.  
  
~~  
  
English was an uneventful class taught by Mrs. Glasky, a middle aged woman with large protruding eyes that made her seem like she was always surprised. He had Tone in the class with him, and she sat directly in front of him. That didn't bother Artemis too much, since he could stare at her long, silky blond hair. It was straight, and shiny, and mesmerizing. Almost as strong as the People's mesmer. He could have stared at her hair forever, except the class ended. As they walked to lunch, they met up with A.J., who was just coming from math class herself. She had Marson, too.  
  
"Could be worse." She said.  
  
"How? Marson's the worst teacher." Ed said joining them.  
  
"I could have Arkans for P.E. Instead, I have Lehman. She rocks." Artemis sighed.  
  
"You have Arkans, don't you." Tone said.  
  
"Yep." Artemis confirmed. He sighed again.  
  
"My brother said this to me once. He said 'If you want to have a good year, have it. If you want to have a bad year, do the same.'" Artemis walked into the over-crowded cafeteria with that thought on his mind. Well, this would be a good year, whether Arkans wanted it to be for him or not.  
  
~~  
  
Okay. You likie? If you likie, please reviewie. I actually know some of these teachers (I changed some names) like Mr. J was my shop teacher two years ago, and Heister was my way cool math teacher last year (he really does talk fast). As for some others, I changed the names of my teachers. 


End file.
